come what may

Wednesday, May 14

my sister is in SHANGHAI!!
and im only starting to feel smth about her absence now
its hard to miss her cause she wasnt even home much when she was in spore
only saw her in the morn sleeping while i prepared for school
so how to miss her?!
BUT the thing im feeling about her absence is not longing
its FEAR!
:D
im scared to be alone in the room!
guess why

cause my very lazy maid is not willing to fold two blankets or get the pillow on my sister's bed dirty
cause ill usually roll over the two beds and create a mess
so she put the blanket and pillow on the bed
and covered the whole bed with bedsheets
so i feel like im sleeping nxt to a coffin!!!
(bed sheet's brown btw)
:x

anw got boiled for mid yrs
so sad!
i failed chem!
and then i finally got worried about O's
seriously i dont think its gna be easy with track ending only after july
:/
and the only reasons why im still running are friends and opportunity to get sports scholarship 500 bucks!!
:b

which jc should i be goaling for
hc is whr my dad wants me to go
but i have a definite space in vj kinda
BUT I DONT WANNA RUN NO MORE!
im tired.. feel old
and faithless!
lost faith in myself after nationals
eeks

chinese o's again on 26may [i hope i get a 1 this time really:( ]
im gg thailand from 27may to 1june [missing on a whole week of remedial:( but gna have fun! i hope:D]
theres camp w/o parents from 9june to 14june [i hope it'll be a blast!! :))]

i hope we finally go out :D

-6:29:00 AM
`els